Sebastian x Male! Reader Chapter Twelve

    The angel stares at me for a moment with wide eyes. His mouth hangs open a bit as he comprehends what it is I’ve told him. “I have proof,” I tell him quickly. “My Record.” I rummage through the back again and pull out the little black book I had snagged from Sebastian before leaving. “Here,” I tell him as I shove the book into his hands. His weak, shaking hands take the book and so gracefully open it to the first page. “I’m sorry to bother you! I just really wanted to meet you.”

    His lilac eyes widen even more as he reads through my conception. “I...remember this,” he mutters to himself. “She wasn’t supposed to conceive…”

    “Why did you have sex with her?” I ask him softly.

    My father looks up at me, eyes still filled with shock. He looks like a child. A tall, emaciated child, but a child nonetheless. “I...I needed to be bound to this world in some way. I had to...in order to cleanse it...to set it on fire…”

    “W-what?”

    “I just wanted to cleanse the world.” He looks so sad. Yet at the same time, he doesn’t exactly look remorseful. “I was so close…”

    “Let me help you,” I tell him. I reach for my father in order to help him stand up, but the moves away from me as much as he can. “Wha--?”

    “Don’t touch me!” he spits. “I don’t care if I created you. You’re nothing but a sin and you should never have existed!”

    “But Dad--!”

    “Don’t call me that! You’re filthy! Unclean!” His eyes become furious at me. I knew it. I knew that he would hate me. I know that I’m not supposed to exist...that I am nothing but a mistake. But I had thought...I had hoped so desperately that my own father would accept my existence.

    I pull my knees to my chest and rest my head on them. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

    “You’re...sorry?” Ash asks me quietly. “Why are you apologizing to me?”

    “I...I just really wanted you to like me. So I’m sorry for giving you a reason to hate me already…”

    “H-how do I know that you’re this…” he turns the book over and reads my name, “(y/n) Landers.”

    “Wouldn’t this conversation be on the last page?” I ask in reply.

    My father smirks slightly and opens the book. “Yes, I see…” he says softly. He closes the books as well as his eyes. “I think I can accept it.”

    “W-what?”

    “I said I can accept that you are my child.” He smiles slightly at me, though it appears to be more of a smirk, and reaches his hand out to me. I hold his frail hand and bring it to my face. “It’s in you…”

    “What’s in me?”

    “The holiness that had evaded me when I had bound myself to this world…”

    I sigh and kiss my father’s hand before standing up. “You’re only going to starve to death in here. Let me take you to a real town.” I lift my father completely in my arms and turn to Pluto. Ash is a lot lighter than I thought...hoped. It’s like I really am carrying a skeleton. “How long have you been here?” I ask him.

    Ash lets out a little chuckle and rests his head on my shoulder. “You know nothing  about me...I’m surprised that Sebastian didn’t mention my true intentions.”

    “How do you know about hi--?”

    “I can smell him on you. That demon’s scent is one I’ll never forget. I also saw his name in your Record. Why have you been with him? He’s nothing but a--”

    “Dad,” I say in order to stop him. It kind of feels really good being able to have a parent now. I wish I wasn’t practically an adult already. Ash--my father sighs against my shoulder and quiets down. I can hear how heavy his breathing is. “How long have you been in this church?”

    “About a year…”

    “What? H-how have you survived all this time!?”

    “(y/n)...Michaeles destroyed my body a while ago...I’ve been rebuilding it here. I should be dead...destroyed even...but an angel is immortal, whether or not it has fallen.”

    “I’ll take care of you now,” I tell him softly. “Whether or not you want me to, or Sebastian wants me to, I’m going to take care of you.” My father laughs in a strange manner at my words. “What’s so funny?”

    “My son...a living, breathing sin, the result of an angel falling to Earth, is the kindest and most holy creature I have met yet in this impure world.”

    “Don’t say that…” I tell him softly.

    “What? You know what you are.”

    “I mean don’t talk about the world like that. Don’t even talk about people like that. There are really good people in this world. And you shouldn’t want to make them suffer alongside all the bad people.”

    My father scoffs at my words and glares up at me. “I doubt you could understand. You probably haven’t even seen the true horrors of humanity. How could I expect a child such as yourself to have an understanding of my true meaning.”

    “If the world is really as unclean as you say it is, then why are you letting me hold you? Shouldn’t I be the dirtiest thing about Earth? I’m a halfbreed.”

    “You’re my son.”



    I have Pluto carry Ash and me on his back until we reached another town. He looks so weak. I want to be able to make him better. Pluto brings us to a busier town, one with a noble in an estate larger than Ciel’s. I do have some money that Ciel had given me throughout my stay with him; I can pay for a few nights in an inn. This town doesn’t look too busy, but the people are a little frightening. We probably will just continue to make our way to London after a little while. I’ll find some sort of job there and then I’ll truly take care of my father...and Pluto.

    I help my father into our room and onto the bed. “I have clean clothes for you, if you’d like. They’re not white...but they’re also not so dirty that they seem brown.” He lies down and stares up at me with a blank look on his face. “What is it now?”

    “I’m rather parched.”

    “Are you going to ask me for some water?”

    “Shouldn’t you just get it for me? That is how this relationship is supposed to work, right?” Is he serious? What relationship is he talking about?

    “We’re supposed to have a father-son relationship, not a master-slave. I promise to take care of you, but do not treat me like I am some slave.”

    “I...I apologize...I have not had any relationship with your kind.”

    “My kind?”

    “Humans.”

    “What about my mother?”

    “Your mother was a prostitute,” my father tells me bluntly. It’s not like a hadn’t already known that. But he didn’t have to be so blunt about it. “Listen, (y/n). Every human I have ever come in contact with has always been my pawn. I controlled them, manipulated them. I made the mistake of treaty the Phantomhive child the same. In the end...I lost the game...it was that disgusting demon’s fault. He destroyed my body. But I suppose we are fairly similar. Humans are nothing but pawns to the both of us. But my purpose...my purpose is glorious.”

    “Dad…” I say as I sit down next to him. “I want you to forget that purpose. Look at what’s become of y--”

    “How can you possibly understand how unclean this world is? You haven’t seen the cruelty that humanity has become.”

    I stand up and angrily pull the black book out of my old jacket. “I’m going to go out and buy us something to eat. Read this while I’m gone. It’s a great story, Dad.”



    “Come on, Pluto,” I call. Pluto is dressed, but he’s still acting like a dog. I take his hand and drag him into the bakery. “You stay by me please.” He nods and wraps his arms tightly around my waist. “Hey! People are gonna stare!” Pluto whimpers and resorts to holding my hand again. “What looks good to you?” I wait a few seconds before looking up at Pluto who is staring across the street, drooling. “What are you--” It’s a meat shop.

    Pluto sends me a cheerful (begging) smile and tugs on my arm a bit. “In a minute. Let me buy Dad a pastry, ok? We should get him some tea too.” Pluto nods in understanding yet tugs on my arms again. “Give me two minute.” Before he can even respond, I rush to the counter and buy a cinnamon bun for my father. I have to quickly place it in a little basket before Pluto can drag me all the way across the street. “If you can find something cooked that we can all share, then I will buy it.”

    Pluto whimpers but nods softly. He smiles and makes his way through the shop. There are dried hams hanging on the wall. I’m sure Pluto will be happy if I buy that for him. I have to keep the child close to me or else he might get lost. “Let’s get some ham. Then we’ll stop one more time and buy tea. I’ll brew it when we get back and we can take the day to relax before heading to London. You probably don’t care about what I’m saying because you’re staring at the ham now. Calm down, Pluto.”

    After buying the meat, Pluto and I bought some Earl Grey for Ash and then decided to take a longer walk back to our inn. I spend my time walking with Pluto thinking about Sebastian again. I don’t think so much about our dream sex as I do the fact that he practically destroyed my father and didn’t tell me. I can probably understand why he would. I can see how unwell my father’s mind is. His eyes tell it all right now. When they think about humans or even Earth, they get this deranged and empty look. But I’m glad that it disappears when he thinks about me. I hope Sebastian will be able to see that happiness when we meet again.



    “We’re back, Dad,” I call into the room. I set the basket on a table and look around for Ash. “Dad?” I walk around one of the beds and find him curled up in a ball in the corner of the room. “Dad? What happened? What are you doing?” He looks up at me, eyes wide, his body shaking. “What happened!?” I grab onto his underarms and lift him up onto the bed. His light body is trembling entirely. “Dad. What happened?”

    “How could you?”

    “What are you--?”

    “How could I have made something so…”

    “Unclean?” I ask him quietly.

    “N-no…” my father sits up and smiles softly. “I was going to call you tragic, and compassionate, and forgiving. I didn’t think it was possible for me to create...let alone create something as holy as you…” He glares off at the wall and moves away from me a bit. “I don’t understand how you could be so different. If you have my blood, you of all people should be able to understand my hatred.”

    “How far have you read?” I ask him as I pick my Record up off the floor. I carefully tuck it under my pillow before turning back to my father.

    “To the part where that demon found you in that wretched tea house.” He sits up suddenly and looks at me with his crazy eyes. “I’ll make them burn, all of them, for hurting you.”

    “What? No! Dad! You can’t! I don’t want you hurting anyone ever again!”

    “W-what?”

    I cast my eyes downward at his shocked gaze. “I’m sorry.”

    “What are you sorry for?” he asks me quietly.

    “If I hadn’t been conceived, then you would still have all the virtues and sanity that you’ve lost. It’s my fault, so...I’m sorry.”

    “You should not apologize for my actions, (y/n). I don’t want you to ever suffer for my sins.” My father sits up slowly and wipes his lilac eyes. He still looks so fragile. I help him get comfortable on the bed before I bring him the breakfast we had bought. I watch my father hold the pastry awkwardly in his thin hands before he hesitantly brings it to his lips. “It smells nice. What is this called?”

    “It’s just a cinnamon bun. I didn’t have time to really pick anything out for you because of that dumb mutt, Pluto…” I look over my shoulder and at the dogman. Pluplu is sitting in front of the table with the basket and meat on it, staring longingly at his delicious treat. “Alright, Pluplu,” I call to him. Pluto turns around and jumps at me, tackling me to the ground and lathering my face with his dog kisses. “You’ve earned this treat, ok? I’m giving it to you because you’re the one who can be nothing but loyal.” He smiles dumbly at my words and excitedly gets off of me. I need him to settle down before he transforms. “Here,” I say as I grab the ham off the table quickly and throw it to him.
“Savor it; I doubt this will be happening again.”

    “You’re rather nice to that vermin, aren’t you,” I hear my father call. “Why is that?”

    “Hm? I guess...Pluto was the one who brought me to the Phantomhives. Sebastian really hated me when we first met, and Pluto protected me from him. He’s also the only one I could trust to come with me to find you. I owe a lot to this stupid guy.”

    “I suppose I do as well.” My father sighs as he finishes his breakfast and tries to get up out of bed.

    “N-no! You’re still too weak! Stay in bed!” I scream at him. I rush over and tuck him into bed which aggravates him immensely. “I still have to make you tea! We’re only going to stay here a night before we head up to London to find a more permanent home. All you need to do is rest. I want to see you healthy for once, ok?”

    “Why do you care so much?” my father nearly spits at me. “It’s not like you’ve grown up knowing me as your father.”

    “That may be true,” I admit softly. “But you’re still my father and I have you here with me now. I don’t care if it’s weird for me to care this much. I happen to be part angel, in case you’ve forgotten already.”

    “How could I?” he replies with a smirk.



    It’s strange sleeping in this strange bed without the warmth of Sebastian, my kitten, or Pluto with me. I look over to the other bed and see Pluto cuddling with Ash. My father is curled up in a ball and shivering like he’s sleeping in snow. “Dad?” I call to him.

    “What is it?” he replies through chattering teeth.

    “Are you alright?”

    “Don’t worry about me, (y/n). I’m used to this.”

    “Used to...You get this cold every night?” My father only grunts in response. “Here,” I get up and carry my blankets to his bed. I can see his eyes light up when I crawl into bed with him and wrap us in all four blankets. “I hope no one walks in and finds the three of us like this...it’s not even that cold right now.” My father sighs and curls up closer to me. A shock runs up my spine when his icey fists make gentle contact with my stomach. “My God, you’re freezing.”

    He chuckles and moves closer. Pluto quickly follows suit so that my father is sandwiched tightly between the two of us. “This is nice...no more suffering the cold nights alone…”

    “I’m going to make sure that you get better,” I promise him before drifting back to sleep.”



    “A few more days and I should be able to at least walk on my own,” my father tells me as I carry him to the giant wolf that’s waiting patiently for us. “Why are we going to London? What do you intend to do in that filthy city anyway?”

    “I intend to help you get better, both mentally and physically.” I hop on top of Pluto and hold my broken father close. “Alright, Pluplu, you know where to go.” He barks happily and races off towards London. “I think I might find work as a maid...maybe a live-in maid. There has to be a gracious noble who would let me take care of my sick...brother.” I couldn’t call Ash my father in front of other people. He may look like a corpse, but he looks like a young corpse. “Pluto can be our younger, mentally ill, mute brother.” Pluto barks again in agreement. “Who am I kidding...no one would take the three of us in…”

    “What do you mean by maid?” my father suddenly asks.

    “Oh...yeah...about that…” I blush at the thought of explaining to my father that I would be more than willing to crossdress for his sake. He doesn’t know about my year with...Trancy… “Ah...I can...crossdress...fairly well…”

    My father lets out a chuckle and looks up at me. For once, his eyes look neither sinister, nor insane. “Then there just might be something similar between us.”

    “What do you mean?”

    “You’re father...is not always a man,” he tells me bluntly. He must see the confusion on my face, for he smiles gently and continues. “As an angel, I have the ability to chose my physical…form. Before my body was destroyed, I had often taken on my female persona, Angela, to manipulate those around me. It appears that you have a very similar ability.”

    “That’s so...weird,” I mumble. My father only laughs at me before easing into sleep in my arms. There is so much that I do not know about him. What he’s done. Why he’s done it. What Sebastian has done to him. What he’s done to Ciel… Why he get’s that menacing and insane look in his eyes whenever he thinks of humanity. I want to know who this person sleeping in my arms is. Where has he been while I’ve been suffering? What has been doing? How has he been regenerating? Will I ever be able to get him into a stable state of mind?
And what about Sebastian? I’ll have to have the two meet up eventually. Ash is my father and Sebastian is my...lover. What if they freak out at each other and start a war or something? I subconsciously pull my father closer to my chest and sigh loudly. “Things are going to become more chaotic than they have ever been, aren’t they…” Pluto barks in response.



    “He looks fairly respectable,” my father tells me as we look over Pluto. “But I don’t want such an unclean beast holding me--especially in this impure city. I would like my son to.”

    “You’re son is about to become your sister. Remember that,” I tell him quietly. We’re in the woods a few miles away from London. My father and Pluto are both dressed rather nicely. I need to get a dress on before we can start to settle in. “Someone needs to tie my corset.” Pluto steps towards me happily, but I push him away. “Like looks  you could tie anything.” He looks down and pouts at me. “I’ll teach you later, ok?”

    Pluto helps my father stand up and he weakly ties my corset. It’s rather lose, but no one will really be able to tell. I throw my dress on and tie my hair up with a (f/c) ribbon. It’s grown out so much since I first left Trancy… I have got to stop thinking about him. Things are only going to get worse if I don’t. “How do I look?” I ask my father softly. He smirks slightly and closes his eyes. “Convincing?”

    “I like that voice change,” Ash tells me. “Are we walking in from the road?”

    “Of course. How else would we get into the city?”



    People keep giving us weird stares. Although, I guess I can’t really blame them. There’s a woman leading two men through the city. One of said men is decrepit and being held by the other who holds a perpetually blank look on his face. I have to hold my head high though. There is an opening for a maid in one of the richer houses, I know this for sure. Ciel was talking about the owner a while before I had left.

    “Where are we going?” my father asks.

    “There’s a man somewhere around here who I know will take the three of us in,” I reply.

    “Do you know this man personally, (y/n)?” he asks me.

    “N-no, but the Young Mas--but Ciel Phantomhive does. He doesn’t like him that much, but I’m not nervous about what he’s like.” Even if this man is evil and cruel, I must have faced worse in my life. “I think we will be ok.”



    We step up to the doors of the large mansion and I nervously knock. It only takes a few moments before the doors are swung wide open and a man steps outside to greet us. This man is...beautiful. Long, golden locks. Childlike gray eyes. Yet a mischievous aura swallows him whole. Dressed in a pure white attire, he seems rather flamboyant and ridiculous.

    “Hello,” I say softly. “Do you happen to be the Viscount Druitt?”

    He gasps in excitement and pulls my face uncomfortably close to his. “Who am I that such a lovely little robin would know my name!?” He melodramatically releases me and nearly faints for some...weird reason. “What can the humble Aleister Chamber do for someone so divine and her...companions?”

    “My brothers and I have been living on the streets for quite some time,” I tell him softly. Grace always sounds so innocent. “We’ve made our way to London and the first person we were told who might allow us to work for him was the gracious Viscount Druitt. I apologize if we are inconveniencing you. My older brother has become rather ill and we are just desperate for shelter. I promi--”

    “There’s no need to speak another word!” the man shouts at me. He takes my hands and pulls me inside his home. “I could never let my dear robin just fly away starving and alone! No. I will take all three of you in and I, Lord Aleister Chamber, the most gracious and loving Viscount of Druitt, will take my lovely, broken robin and hold her until she is strong enough to fly!”

    What the hell is this guy going on about? I look behind me to make sure Pluto and my father are inside this warm home. “Thank you so much, Viscount. I promise to work hard and earn our keep. You don’t know how much this means to me.” I curtsy gently and bow my head to the strange man. “My eldest brother is very ill. Please, can we help him immediately?”

    “Of course, darling robin.” The Viscount places his hand on my waist and pulls me close before guiding me through his home. Oh God...please don’t make me regret this. Please...I only need to deal with this until my father is strong enough to live on his own. That’s all it is. I don’t need to put up with this forever. It’s only temporary.